Branny continues to teach me

My grandmother was diagnosed with a form of cancer last summer that was found in her brain and after repeated treatments and setbacks, I find myself so unbelievably humbled by what she has taught me throughout the years. She has taught forgiveness when those closest to you hurt you and she has taught me that I am always worth the best when it comes to relationships because I am a daughter of the King. I am very fortunate and pray that she is with me for many more years to come and that I can make a fraction of the impact on this world that she has made on me.

Listening to Him...

It is hard to believe that it has been so long since I have been on here! I am going to make an attempt to be more faithful to my postings! I am amazed at what God has been doing in my midst over the past few weeks. I left my position at a local church and while many would like to know who or what  is to blame for that decision, the reality is that God simply revealed to my family and I that we were no longer called to be there. I am taking time to be still and wait on His direction. This may sound simple, but going from working 50-60 hours a week to not at all is a huge adjustment and yet I am able to focus on my family more which is exactly what I should have been doing in the first place! So an update on the fabulous family...

Christina is 13 and a freshman in high school...wow! She is in the choir and is playing soccer and is adjusting beautifully! I learn from her daily and love what God is doing in her life. She exhibits such joy that it is contagious.

Rachel is 8 and in the 3rd grade. She is busy with girl scouts and gymnastics and I look forward to hearign what may come from her mouth next! For those of you who know her, that comes as no surprise!

Chet is doing well...he is my rock and often has no idea. Often times it is what he says when he is not talking that motivates me the most. He is an amazing man of God and faith and so when he said it was time for a change with my job, I followed suit. He has been leading our house for nearly 14 years and we have not been steered wrong yet!

http://www.playlist.com/blessedjess

Thank you for friends!!

I am at a place in my life where I feel like I have been searching for years for the the types of friendships that I have in my life now. Moving to Albuquerque was rough, but He has brought me so much by bringing me here. I have new friends that bless my socks off and still communicate with some of my friends from the past. While at the adventure camp last weekend, God showed me what being real with a Christian sister could be like and WOW! Kari and I both said when we left that we had found our 'bgf'- that would be our best girlfriends. We shared just about every detail of our lives and when the weekend was over...we were both still standing! She and I had gotten to know one another over the past few weeks, but when we got to camp on Friday...God was there. Trust comes difficult for me and yet I knew with her that it wasn't anything I had to question...we laugh together and we can worship together...and pray for one another. How awesome is that...to go 31 years and finally find your best friend!

Happy Annivrsary to my sweetie!!!

The past 11 years have flown by! It is so hard to believe that 11 years ago, I stood looking through the window pane of the double doors wondering if this was really happening. Were you really going to marry me? I looked out at all of the people- our friends and family gathered and could not believe the miles traveled by some and what the years to come would be like. My own parents could not make their marriage work and I really had no healthy marriages to look at...but we did it! I know that our marriage is different than so many others...and I am so grateful. 15 years ago I met this long-haired lifeguard with a heart of gold and then watched as you left for college and then joined the Air Force...and I look at you I know and that heart of yours is like no other. God has sent you to me and I know this...to show me what love is really all about...how to be loved, how to love someone...and knowing each day that I do not deserve it and you love me anyway! We danced to Celine Dion's The Power of Love....and it is still so true today!

Lost is how Im feeling

lying in your arms

When the world outsides too

Much to take

That all ends when Im with you

Even though there may be times

It seems Im far away

Never wonder where I amcause

I am always by your side

Were heading for something

Somewhere Ive never been

Sometimes I am frightened

But Im ready to learn

Of the power of love

Everyday we head into unchartered waters with one another. You have stood by me, with me, and up for me and all because you love me...hard to believe and somedays hard to accept...but you love me. The times you have been deployed, the world almost stood still, but God always brought you back to me...I would laugh when you were in Iraq and say that you would be alright because God has given us the opportunity to be one of the greatest love stories on earth and we are not done yet! The girls are blessed to call you daddy and I am blessed to call you my husband!

Just like me...

If someone said that you were dying, what would you do? What would you say?

I would watch my husband and my children as they slept, wondering how I got so lucky; wondering how God could love me so much to give me the miracle of love from an amazing man and two precious daughters. I would wonder how my husband could love me even when I was stubborn and prideful, and hope that he knew, even when I was at my worst, how much I adored him and didn't want to live without him.

I would wonder if my children would remember me or if they would only remember a to-do list of activities that I had created for myself and for them. Maybe they would remember the simple things like our car time chats, my anticipating each giggle, or listening for their sweet dinner time prayers.

I would wonder if my friends knew how much I adored them...each person who was hand-picked by God to walk this journey with me. I would wonder if they understood that with each call or text which came from me, there was woman who prayed for them and their families and sometimes hourly. If I was gone in six days, would anyone know how much I loved God, how much He has changed my life, and how much I believe that He can and will do that for anyone. Would anyone know how far God has delivered me and how far I KNOW He can carry them?

I write this because I have realized how short life really is. When Heather died two weeks ago, my mind wandered. She is 31 years young...just like me, has a husband who adores her...just like me, two children who she adores...just like me, a love for her friends that they will never be aware of...just like me. This weekend Chet and I celebrate our 11 year anniversary and it is a day of mixed emotions. One year ago, on our tenth anniversary, we were participating in a funeral for Devin, a 17 year old who died too early. At the funeral, I spoke of the Prodigal Son and how God is always calling us to come home and Chet served as a pall bearer. One of the hardest days we have shared as a married couple. We attended a service for someone who we had worked mission trips with, Vacation Bible schools, lock-ins. We had been to his house and visited with him and listened to his piano playing that was beautiful. We had gone to see him when he was in the hospital and we had prayed over him and with him and held his mother's hand while she prayed...she loved her son...just like me.

I pray for all those reading this...that no matter how broken life seems to be, there is a God that specializes in putting pieces together...just like He did with me.

She is growing up...

Wow! Hard to believe that she will be in the 6th grade this fall! Being her mother is such a blessing for me...she has a heart so big that I am often overwhelmed! I pray for her what seems like hourly as she gets older. I pray for her future friends, boyfriends, teachers, etc. We are going to visit a church closer to our house so that she can possibly have friends in youth and also school.

Mother's Day was this past Sunday and I got to spend the day with both of my girls...what a blessing! They brought me breakfast in bed, we went to church together, and ate yummy ice cream. I wish that my mom looked at raising chidren the same way, but as I was reminded by a sweet friend that she cannot give what she does not have to give.